<---- ouch....
Now get down on your knees and thank God you're not a snail.
28 February 2007
It's not easy being a male snail....
<---- ouch....
Now get down on your knees and thank God you're not a snail.
27 February 2007
Words From The Relatives....A Chinese New Year tradition.
It's fecking 5.30 am on a bloody Tuesday morning and I have no idea why I'm awake. One moment I'm sleeping like a baby, another moment, I'm awake. I can't get back to sleep, and it's pissing me off.
Oh yeah....did I tell you, it's most likely becaue of a spawn of Satan himself mosquito who found it nice and warm under the blanket all night.
Biatch.
So I've spent like 30 minutes trying to hunt that blood sucking bastard, and the damn coward's gone and hid somewhere.
Nevermind.....the time will come....the time will come...*takes another drag from his cigarette*
Well... Chinese New Year's gone by, and there's been the usual;
a) Food
b) Alcohol
c) Gambling
d) Relatives....lots of them.
I've got no problem with the first 3, but nobody is safe from the nosy-yet-trying-to-be-helpful relative....or anyone actually. It seems that everyone's got an opinion of your love life/choice of partner. Every 5 minutes, I'm getting the 'When are you going to settle down' or 'Why are you still single' question. Usually while they look at you funny and wonder what's wrong with you....being single and all.
(strange....it's usually the life long single 'aged' women who especially like asking these questions....while looking at you funny too)
Here are just a few bits of 'friendly advice' on what to look for in a girlfriend/wife;
a) Not too skinny
b) Not too fat
c) Not too clingy
d) Not too independant
e) Works for her money
f) Not too obsessed with work
g) Not too quiet
h) Not too talkative
i) Not too tall
j) Not too short
k) Not too old
l) Not too young
m) Not too dumb
n) Not too smart
o) Not too introverted
p) Not too extroverted
q) Not too fair
r) Not too dark
So there you have it. Ancient wisdom from old chinese females.
Strange....they never mentioned things like a sense of humour, the ability to click, and love. 3 very important aspects of any relationship.
And my own personal one stop thought experiment;
Would I be able to wake up next to the person every single day for the rest of my life without going insane.
So the question is.......
Why would you take advice from old bints who've been single all their lives?
Oh yeah....did I tell you, it's most likely becaue of a spawn of Satan himself mosquito who found it nice and warm under the blanket all night.
Biatch.
So I've spent like 30 minutes trying to hunt that blood sucking bastard, and the damn coward's gone and hid somewhere.
Nevermind.....the time will come....the time will come...*takes another drag from his cigarette*
Well... Chinese New Year's gone by, and there's been the usual;
a) Food
b) Alcohol
c) Gambling
d) Relatives....lots of them.
I've got no problem with the first 3, but nobody is safe from the nosy-yet-trying-to-be-helpful relative....or anyone actually. It seems that everyone's got an opinion of your love life/choice of partner. Every 5 minutes, I'm getting the 'When are you going to settle down' or 'Why are you still single' question. Usually while they look at you funny and wonder what's wrong with you....being single and all.
(strange....it's usually the life long single 'aged' women who especially like asking these questions....while looking at you funny too)
Here are just a few bits of 'friendly advice' on what to look for in a girlfriend/wife;
a) Not too skinny
b) Not too fat
c) Not too clingy
d) Not too independant
e) Works for her money
f) Not too obsessed with work
g) Not too quiet
h) Not too talkative
i) Not too tall
j) Not too short
k) Not too old
l) Not too young
m) Not too dumb
n) Not too smart
o) Not too introverted
p) Not too extroverted
q) Not too fair
r) Not too dark
So there you have it. Ancient wisdom from old chinese females.
Strange....they never mentioned things like a sense of humour, the ability to click, and love. 3 very important aspects of any relationship.
And my own personal one stop thought experiment;
Would I be able to wake up next to the person every single day for the rest of my life without going insane.
So the question is.......
Why would you take advice from old bints who've been single all their lives?
20 February 2007
FurryFish's Suggested Life Theme Songs
Strange isn't it?.... As far as I can remember, I've always had a song in my head. Not the same song, but just songs that reflect whatever emotion, feeling, even words that I'm trying to say just pop up in my head. So much so that sometimes what I say tends to be damn fecking cliche.
So here's just some of the suggested life theme songs for every occasion;
1) What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
- for when memories of your exes come floating by during your lonely single days.
"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken"
2) It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects
- for when you remember why you broke up in the first place
"Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all."
3) With Or Without You - U2
- for when you get pushed into a corner by that lady you call your girlfriend
"My hands are tied
My body bruised,
she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose"
4) James Bond's Theme Song
- for when you go the poker tables
5) Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day
- for when you crash out of the poker tables... (also applicable to a fecked up single life)
"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone"
Well, that's the first 5 songs that I can think about right now....I think I'll just update the theme songs of my life on this here blog.
Notice there aren't any of those stupid songs that SPELL instead of sing?...Must be some American thing where they try and educate the masses through pop.
But she still can't spell 'TASTY'
...that's what you get for cancelling Sesame Street.
So here's just some of the suggested life theme songs for every occasion;
1) What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
- for when memories of your exes come floating by during your lonely single days.
"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken"
2) It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects
- for when you remember why you broke up in the first place
"Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all."
3) With Or Without You - U2
- for when you get pushed into a corner by that lady you call your girlfriend
"My hands are tied
My body bruised,
she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose"
4) James Bond's Theme Song
- for when you go the poker tables
5) Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day
- for when you crash out of the poker tables... (also applicable to a fecked up single life)
"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone"
Well, that's the first 5 songs that I can think about right now....I think I'll just update the theme songs of my life on this here blog.
Notice there aren't any of those stupid songs that SPELL instead of sing?...Must be some American thing where they try and educate the masses through pop.
But she still can't spell 'TASTY'
...that's what you get for cancelling Sesame Street.
17 February 2007
The Journey Begins...
Well, I'm still awake here at 3.18 am....just as I was at 2.20 am just now. So basically, I got bored, loaded in USD 9.47 into Ladbrokes and started pokering at my usual game, Omaha.
Played at a USD 0.15/0.30 Pot Limit table. I was basically holding my own till I came across a lovely Ace with a pair of Aces in my hand. Gotta love them hidden trips. Heh heh.
So that's how I went from USD 9.47 to USD 33.20.
As you can see below, I'm publishing my poker chart which shows the USD Bankroll vs Day. So do drop in, and of course if I lose, I'll be in a super bitching mood.
Played at a USD 0.15/0.30 Pot Limit table. I was basically holding my own till I came across a lovely Ace with a pair of Aces in my hand. Gotta love them hidden trips. Heh heh.
So that's how I went from USD 9.47 to USD 33.20.
As you can see below, I'm publishing my poker chart which shows the USD Bankroll vs Day. So do drop in, and of course if I lose, I'll be in a super bitching mood.
FurryFish's Poker Chart
As of today, I'll be updating this chart as a simple experiment. It's basically my poker chart shown in USD. It's started on the 16th of Feb 2007 with a grand amount of USD 9.47.
So look out for various updates on the poker life of the FurryFish in future posts.
Let's see how far it'll go. =P
16 February 2007
Happy Chinese New Year...
Well, it's the time for gambling, drinking and collecting cash....yeps...it's Chinese New Year again, and this time, it's the year of the PIG.
Pretty apt, since I intend to eat and sleep like one through out the holidays (while of course leaving some time to collect cash from all you married people out there...heh heh).
They say it's going to be a hot CNY, but feck it, that's what air-conditioners were invented for... to all you poor sods who insist on going out in the day..... you asked for it. The best thing is, most people are getting the heck out of KL, which can only mean one thing;
More parking!!!! No more having to refrain from stabbing that damn jockey who charges me MONEY for a fecking PUBLIC parking space. Think about it, who the feck wants to hand over their car keys to a smelly little strange b*stard so he can drive, stink, and scratch your car (usually in that order) so he can park it in a parking space that's free and then PAY said smelly little strange b*stard.
All that and you get the added bonus of hoping your car doesn't get stolen.
I say shoot them all.......Sorry.......I take that back.... I say everyone picks one... tie him up...use as 24 hour parking cone (to book parking spaces....night AND day). They'd come in handy to make sure nobody steals your parking spot while you're away.....and when you want to use said parking space....just roll them to the side near the drain.....they won't mind the smell....
.....though the rats might.
Anyways...Happy Chinese New Year....may all your dreams of sex, health, wealth and wisdom come true (although I don't think the last one was on most people's wish list).....as long as I get mine too.
Pretty apt, since I intend to eat and sleep like one through out the holidays (while of course leaving some time to collect cash from all you married people out there...heh heh).
They say it's going to be a hot CNY, but feck it, that's what air-conditioners were invented for... to all you poor sods who insist on going out in the day..... you asked for it. The best thing is, most people are getting the heck out of KL, which can only mean one thing;
More parking!!!! No more having to refrain from stabbing that damn jockey who charges me MONEY for a fecking PUBLIC parking space. Think about it, who the feck wants to hand over their car keys to a smelly little strange b*stard so he can drive, stink, and scratch your car (usually in that order) so he can park it in a parking space that's free and then PAY said smelly little strange b*stard.
All that and you get the added bonus of hoping your car doesn't get stolen.
I say shoot them all.......Sorry.......I take that back.... I say everyone picks one... tie him up...use as 24 hour parking cone (to book parking spaces....night AND day). They'd come in handy to make sure nobody steals your parking spot while you're away.....and when you want to use said parking space....just roll them to the side near the drain.....they won't mind the smell....
.....though the rats might.
Anyways...Happy Chinese New Year....may all your dreams of sex, health, wealth and wisdom come true (although I don't think the last one was on most people's wish list).....as long as I get mine too.
14 February 2007
Death To The Flowers!!!!
Whoopee...Today is Valentine's Day. The day where normally sane and intelligent people act like fecking pot smoking, Carebears!!! It's a fecking scam by those suits in Hallmark to make a huge ass profit while making single people feel like crap.
Couples hugging, and rubbing noses (with that irritating look on their faces) while repeating Valentine mantras like ..."Happy Valentines Day my snuggy-wuggy-munchkin."
It's enough to make one puke up your breakfast from 2 weeks ago while trying to stab BOTH your ears with a pencil at the same time (you heard me!!...ONE frigging pencil!!).
And how about them restaurant prices. Jacking up their prices just for this supposed human mating season. It's bloody discrimination I tell you! A single person can't get something to eat at a reasonable price just because of those guys who're thinking they're going to get good animalistic loving tonight just because he bought her a posh meal (and probably tried to get her drunk) while sacrificing a dead piece of flora (aka some innocent flower...who was probably minding it's own business before it got cut off in it's prime) and maybe pieces of sparkly rocks (if she's lucky it's a REAL diamond...not a kidney stone).
The whole of today I've been thinking that I'm the only sane person left in this city today. I'm probably bitching because I'm single (and I haven't gotten any in a fecking long time). On the bright side, at least I'm not spending insane amounts of money on flowers that will die, diamonds that'll get misplaced and a girl that'll probably leave me.
Yes...I'm still in the world of the sane....but if I ever do get a girlfriend....I hope I don't succumb to this pheromone driven day.... I hope I never spend the GDP of Albania on a flower, a meal, a rock and maybe a dress.....
But if I do.......
The sex better be bloody worth it.
Valentine's Day Dinner : $500
Overpriced Flowers : $150
finding out you aren't getting laid : priceless
there are some things money can buy.
for everything else there's MasturBate.
Couples hugging, and rubbing noses (with that irritating look on their faces) while repeating Valentine mantras like ..."Happy Valentines Day my snuggy-wuggy-munchkin."
It's enough to make one puke up your breakfast from 2 weeks ago while trying to stab BOTH your ears with a pencil at the same time (you heard me!!...ONE frigging pencil!!).
And how about them restaurant prices. Jacking up their prices just for this supposed human mating season. It's bloody discrimination I tell you! A single person can't get something to eat at a reasonable price just because of those guys who're thinking they're going to get good animalistic loving tonight just because he bought her a posh meal (and probably tried to get her drunk) while sacrificing a dead piece of flora (aka some innocent flower...who was probably minding it's own business before it got cut off in it's prime) and maybe pieces of sparkly rocks (if she's lucky it's a REAL diamond...not a kidney stone).
The whole of today I've been thinking that I'm the only sane person left in this city today. I'm probably bitching because I'm single (and I haven't gotten any in a fecking long time). On the bright side, at least I'm not spending insane amounts of money on flowers that will die, diamonds that'll get misplaced and a girl that'll probably leave me.
Yes...I'm still in the world of the sane....but if I ever do get a girlfriend....I hope I don't succumb to this pheromone driven day.... I hope I never spend the GDP of Albania on a flower, a meal, a rock and maybe a dress.....
But if I do.......
The sex better be bloody worth it.
Valentine's Day Dinner : $500
Overpriced Flowers : $150
finding out you aren't getting laid : priceless
there are some things money can buy.
for everything else there's MasturBate.
13 February 2007
The Confessions of A Bored Fish
My God! I've finally caved. I never thought I'd ever, ever...EVER start one of these blog thingys. Well, I'm no writer, but I've got a few things going for me to start a blog.
1) Too Much Time
2) Fecking Boredom
Actually, to start off, I'm just going to lay out right here, right now. This blog is just a nice little space for me to write nonsense at 2am in the fecking morning when I'm going through my insomnia phase, or after a late (or is that early) poker session.
There will probably a personal poker journal included sometime soon so I can bitch about the b*stards I play against, and whenever I feel like it, I'll give you my fishy wisdom on life, fish, poker and nearly everything else.
1) Too Much Time
2) Fecking Boredom
Actually, to start off, I'm just going to lay out right here, right now. This blog is just a nice little space for me to write nonsense at 2am in the fecking morning when I'm going through my insomnia phase, or after a late (or is that early) poker session.
There will probably a personal poker journal included sometime soon so I can bitch about the b*stards I play against, and whenever I feel like it, I'll give you my fishy wisdom on life, fish, poker and nearly everything else.
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