Words From The Relatives....A Chinese New Year tradition.

It's fecking 5.30 am on a bloody Tuesday morning and I have no idea why I'm awake. One moment I'm sleeping like a baby, another moment, I'm awake. I can't get back to sleep, and it's pissing me off.

Oh yeah....did I tell you, it's most likely becaue of a spawn of Satan himself mosquito who found it nice and warm under the blanket all night.

Biatch.

So I've spent like 30 minutes trying to hunt that blood sucking bastard, and the damn coward's gone and hid somewhere.

Nevermind.....the time will come....the time will come...*takes another drag from his cigarette*



Well... Chinese New Year's gone by, and there's been the usual;
a) Food
b) Alcohol
c) Gambling
d) Relatives....lots of them.

I've got no problem with the first 3, but nobody is safe from the nosy-yet-trying-to-be-helpful relative....or anyone actually. It seems that everyone's got an opinion of your love life/choice of partner. Every 5 minutes, I'm getting the 'When are you going to settle down' or 'Why are you still single' question. Usually while they look at you funny and wonder what's wrong with you....being single and all.

(strange....it's usually the life long single 'aged' women who especially like asking these questions....while looking at you funny too)

Here are just a few bits of 'friendly advice' on what to look for in a girlfriend/wife;

a) Not too skinny
b) Not too fat

c) Not too clingy
d) Not too independant

e) Works for her money
f) Not too obsessed with work

g) Not too quiet
h) Not too talkative

i) Not too tall
j) Not too short

k) Not too old
l) Not too young

m) Not too dumb
n) Not too smart

o) Not too introverted
p) Not too extroverted

q) Not too fair
r) Not too dark

So there you have it. Ancient wisdom from old chinese females.

Strange....they never mentioned things like a sense of humour, the ability to click, and love. 3 very important aspects of any relationship.
And my own personal one stop thought experiment;

Would I be able to wake up next to the person every single day for the rest of my life without going insane.



So the question is.......

Why would you take advice from old bints who've been single all their lives?